Children build relationships at different speeds. A child who hides behind a parent, stays quiet, or doesn't want to hug a relative isn't necessarily being unfriendly. They may need time to feel comfortable in a busy environment with unfamiliar faces, voices, and expectations. Supporting children through these moments helps them develop social confidence while learning that their feelings and boundaries matter.
Prepare your child before the gathering.
Talking about who they will see and what to expect can help a child feel more comfortable. For younger children, pictures can be especially helpful.
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Look at photos of grandparents, cousins, or other relatives before the visit.
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Explain who will be there and what you might do together.
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Remind your child that it's okay if they need a little time to warm up.
Give your child time to get comfortable.
Avoid pushing children to immediately hug, kiss, or talk to everyone. Instead, stay nearby and let them observe until they're ready to join in.
You might say, “It's okay to stay with me for a little while. Grandma is happy to see you, and you can say hello when you're ready.”
Help relatives connect through play.
Sometimes playing together is easier for a child than answering questions from an adult. Offer a simple way for them to interact.
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Read a book together.
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Play a familiar game or build with blocks.
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Look at family photos.
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Invite a relative to draw, color, or play outside with your child.
Respect your child's boundaries.
Children can learn to greet people warmly without being required to give physical affection. Offer alternatives such as waving, smiling, saying hello, or giving a high-five if they choose.
Try This: Before your next family gathering, look at three family photos with your child. Talk about who each person is and one thing your child might enjoy doing with them.