Young children are still developing the skills they need to manage strong emotions, wait, handle frustration, and recover from disappointment. They often need an adult to help them regulate before they can regulate independently.
Co-regulation happens when a calm, responsive adult helps a child move through a difficult moment. Over time, these repeated experiences help children develop their own regulation skills.
What providers can do:
- Stay calm and keep your voice steady.
- Acknowledge the child's feelings without giving long explanations.
- Use simple, clear language.
- Give children time to calm before talking through the situation.
- Offer appropriate choices when possible.
- Practice calming strategies when children are already calm.
- Keep expectations and responses consistent.
For example, instead of repeatedly saying, “Calm down,” try:
“You're really upset. I'm here. Let's take a minute.”
Once the child is calm, you can talk about what happened and what they can try next time.
Remember: Regulation is a skill that develops over time. Children need repeated practice and support before they can consistently manage big emotions on their own.