1. Start with Your Own Regulation
Before responding to a student’s behavior, check in with yourself:
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Do you feel your heart beating fast?
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Do you want to raise your voice?
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Do you feel stuck or stressed?
Take a moment to breathe. Even a short pause helps reset your body and your brain.
Small self-regulation moments help you show up as the calm leader students need.
2. Use Your Presence to Lower Stress
Children borrow a teacher’s calm. When a student is upset:
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Move closer at eye level
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Use a relaxed voice
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Keep body language open
Many students will mirror the calm they see.
“I’m here. You’re safe. Let’s figure this out together.”
3. Name the Emotion, Not the Behavior
This shows understanding and builds emotional vocabulary.
Try:
“You look frustrated. It’s okay to feel that way. I’m going to help.”
Naming a feeling does not mean accepting the behavior. It opens the door to problem solving.
4. Teach Calming Tools Before You Need Them
Practicing strategies when everyone is calm helps students use them when they’re upset.
Classroom-friendly options:
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Deep belly breathing
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Box breathing
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Butterfly breathing (hands on shoulders, slow breaths)
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Stretching breaks
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Quiet corner
Make these routines part of the day, not just crisis tools.
5. Offer Co-Regulation Through Connection
When a student is melting down:
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Kneel beside them
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Speak gently
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Follow their cues about touch (some like a hand on the back, some do not)
Connection builds trust. Trust makes learning possible.
Adapted from content by the Child Mind Institute. Full article available at: https://childmind.org