When a child is having a difficult moment, your response can help the situation calm down or become more intense. Try to focus on safety, connection, and teaching rather than reacting out of frustration.
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Stay calm. Use a steady voice and simple words, even when a child is upset.
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Set clear limits. Let children know what is not okay. For example, say, "I won't let you hit. Hitting hurts."
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Acknowledge feelings. Try saying, "You're frustrated because you wanted that toy."
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Teach an alternative. Help the child practice asking for a turn, using words, or requesting help.
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Talk after the child is calm. Use the moment to practice what they can do differently next time.
Try This Tip!
When a child is upset, use the simple formula: Name the feeling + Set the limit + Teach what to do.
For example: "You're angry. I won't let you throw blocks. You can tell me, 'I'm mad,' or ask me for help."