Why Some Children Struggle More at School
For other children, school itself is the primary stressor. Academic demands, social expectations, noise, transitions, and performance pressure can overwhelm developing regulation skills.
Children with:
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ADHD may struggle with sustained attention, frustration tolerance, and impulse control
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Anxiety may act out to avoid feared tasks or situations
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Autism may find unpredictability, waiting, or loss of preferred activities especially difficult
In these cases, behavior may serve a function — delaying, avoiding, or escaping an overwhelming demand.
What This Means for Educators
Behavior that looks like defiance or inconsistency often reflects context-dependent stress and skill demands. A child who struggles at school but not at home is not choosing to misbehave — and a child who “falls apart” at home after a good school day is not being manipulative.
Understanding these differences helps educators:
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Interpret behavior through a regulation lens
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Avoid assuming a child is “fine” because they appear compliant
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Respond with empathy rather than punishment
How Educators Can Help
Collaboration between home and school is essential. When educators and caregivers share strategies, children experience greater consistency and support.
Helpful practices include:
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Sharing routines, visuals, or language that works well in one setting
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Supporting predictable schedules and clear expectations
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Allowing decompression time after demanding activities
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Watching for signs of fatigue, hunger, or emotional overload
When children feel supported across environments, behavior improves because regulation improves.
Children’s behavior changes based on context, demands, and emotional safety. When we understand the why behind behavior differences between home and school, we are better equipped to support regulation, learning, and connection — rather than mislabeling behavior as willful or inconsistent.